Another Year, Another Year

Well, I just had my 37th birthday on Dec 16. The strange thing is..............I still feel like I am in my 20's! I don't look like I did then (unfortunately) but I still feel the same. Sometimes I forget that I am staring 40 in the face. Especially when I am at home by myself, listening to music, cleaning, doing laundry.................things I have done for years. But now I am doing it all for a husband and 8 and 6 year old daughters as well as myself. So things are growing, I am growing in my life, in who I am; but I still feel YOUNG! So now I have a challenge for myself. To look on the outside how I feel on the inside. Young, vibrant and healthy. Things I want for myself that will directly impact my husband and 2 precious girls. Songs have really been speaking to me the past few months. I truly think God uses them to comfort and encouragement as I walk this path of life. Anyway the song is "I Wish" by Point of Grace. It says "wish I was doin' better with all the things that matter.........." and "to make a better life for my baby girl!" This is my wish......my prayer and I know this 37th year is going to be AMAZING!!!! Watch out........things are going to be happening. I hope to be and encouragement to others.
LIVE LIFE ON PURPOSE.

Here are the lyrics to the "I Wish" song. May they encourage and speak to you as it did for me!

I wish I didn't feel so helpless
I wish I didn't act so selfish
I wish I didn't wring my hands night and day
My hair was a little bit smoother
My jeans fit a little bit looser
And I always knew the right things to say
And I wish I wouldn't hide what's been going on inside
And I wish you wouldn?t get scared and run away

Chorus
I wish I was doing better
With all the things that matter,
I guess I got some learning to do
I wish everyone had someone
To hold em and to love em
The way I'm always gonna love you
I wish wishes came true

I was there was a cure for cancer
I wish somebody had an answer
And all God's children, never got hurt
I wish Eve never bit that apple
You men never went to battle
And I didn't get so mad at the world
I wish I was more like Jesus
And could pick up all the pieces
And make a better life for my baby girl

Chorus
I wish I was doing better
With all the things that matter,
I guess I got some learning to do
I wish everyone had someone
To hold em and to love em
The way I'm always gonna love you
I wish wishes came true
For everything I am wishing
I know someone up there is listening
So, I say my prayers when I go to bed
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Oh pray my wishes come true
Oh
Chorus
I wish I was doing better
With all the things that matter,
I guess I got some learning to do
I wish everyone had someone
To hold em and to love em
The way I'm always gonna love you
I wish wishes came true
I know wishes come true
I wish, I wish

Just When I Think I Have Things Figured Out......

Just when I think I have everything figured out..............I realize I do not. In the span of a weekend I lost the security of my Mama Phillips and the security of my husbands job. My grandmother passed away last night. She was an amazing woman who has such a legacy of Love for her family and for her God. I miss her already. My husband lost his job, and the anger/fear/anxiety I expect to feel are not there. I have instead a peace that God has something in store for us. Don't get me wrong, I am not happy about this.......but I am peaceful. And as John Waller sings in his song I Am Waiting..............I am waiting on you Lord, and I am hopeful. Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait. I will move ahead bold and confident, taking every step in obedience. While I'm waiting, I will will serve you. While I'm waiting I will worship. I will not fade, I'll be running the race even while I wait. We ask for your prayers as we wait. Peacefully.

Where is the manual?

Why, oh why didn't our children come with a manual? A place where we can look at the troubleshooting chart and have a few options for each situation. Here I am. Flying out here not know which end is up sometimes. Did my parents feel like this? I must call again and let them know how much I love them and how sorry I am for......................so many things. This age is hard for me, 8 and 6. I am really good with the babies and good with the tween to teenagers; it is this time between the two I am struggling with. Well, my 6 year old just gave me a big unsolicited hug. The aftermath of a meltdown can can be brutal. (Her meltdown, not mine! yet!) I feel so helpless sometimes and want so badly to..............know what they need. From life, from me. I must get on to get dinner together. I am praying God will show me what to do and how to just be.

Hmmm.........

I think I just created a blog to keep my thoughts off the blog I created for my girls!!! So people don't have to plod through my words to find out about my girls, I decided to go for it and make another blog. This is easy. Maybe too easy. Oh, well. I have to be off and get laundry going and spread clean through the house. And yes, Mimi, I made my bed this morning, put my clothes away last night AND gave the girls a hug for you!